Let's get back to one thing I know is perfect...you. Last week I told you that by laughing with yourself (one of my favorite Fun Commandments), you reinforce the notion that you are perfect just as you are. Warts and all! In fact, laughing with yourself confirms that your perfection includes your contradictions and foibles.
But how do you laugh with yourself?
- Step One - Accept Your Powerlessness
The key to this step is the concept of acceptance, perhaps the most misunderstood word in the English language. Acceptance doesn't mean approval or endorsement, it merely means acknowledging things as they are. Perfectionism, the deadly opposite of perfection, is rigid and unyielding, so acknowledging the things that are beyond your power to control sets you free! - Step Two - Start Identifying Those Things over Which You Have No Control
This is a great way to practice laughing with yourself; once you've got a handle on the things over which you have no control, you can focus on the things over which you do. Remember that, although you may be a victim of circumstance, you are always a master of response! Step Two frees you from your unrealistic expectations and focuses your attention on choices that will increase your personal effectiveness. - Step Three - Put It All in Perspective
Develop the habit of frequently asking yourself, "How important will this be 100 years from now?" Obviously, some things will pass that litmus test, but you'll be amazed that almost everything that's keeping you serious will be immaterial 100 years from now! This perspective helps you lighten up and you can't help but laugh with yourself when you catch yourself getting stressed over something inconsequential. - Step Four - Put Yourself in the Joke
Tell gentle jokes on yourself; adapt a joke or personal experience and make yourself the punch line. Remember that Ryan Seacrest (the host of American Idol) recently said he knew he had made it big in Hollywood when, "I became a regular punch line in Jay Leno's monologue." The more you tell these stories, the easier it becomes to laugh with yourself.
Put these four steps into action today. It takes practice to focus on laughing with, not at, yourself. But the results are well worth it!
You'll soon find it difficult to take yourself too seriously. My research has shown that people who love and accept themselves on a deep level are also especially adept at laughing with, but not at, themselves. Coincidence? No way!
The good news is that, just as accepting/loving yourself helps you laugh with yourself, laughing with yourself perpetuates and accelerates accepting/loving yourself. It's a wonderful snowball effect. And we can all use more self-acceptance!
By the way, I also learned that a banana can shine your shoes; rub your leather shoes with the inside of the peel, let dry, and buff to a gleaming luster. But the coolest thing is that bananas sooth mosquito bites! If you rub the affected skin with the inside of the peel, you'll be amazed at the reduction of swelling and irritation.
No wonder monkeys are so happy!
And you'll be happy too, as you learn to laugh (and love) with yourself more than you've ever experienced. Please write and share your laughter with me.
Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor
"it all starts with a SMILE"
The Natural Medicine of Humor
"Discover a unique, FREE, and incredibly powerful prescription created out of desperation by a (formerly) stressed-out Kentucky psychiatrist"
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