Talk to Your Kids about Tobacco, Alcohol, and Drugs

The Basics

Talk to your child about the dangers of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. Knowing the facts will help your child make healthy choices.

What do I say?

When you talk about tobacco, alcohol, and drugs:

* Give your child clear rules.

* Find out what your child already knows.

* Be prepared to answer your child’s questions.

* Talk with your child about how to say “no”.

Get more information on keeping kids healthy and drug free (http://family.samhsa.gov/default.aspx).

When do I start talking with my child?

Start early. By preschool, most children have seen adults smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol, either in real life or on TV. Make sure your child knows right from the start that you think it’s important to stay safe and avoid drugs.

Here are more reasons to start the conversation early:

* Many kids start using tobacco by age 11 and are addicted by age 14.

* Between ages 9 and 13, kids begin to think that using alcohol is okay.

* Some children are already abusing drugs at age 12 or 13.

Why do I need to talk to my child?

Research shows that kids do listen to their parents. Children who learn about drug risks from their parents are less likely to start using drugs.

When kids choose not to use alcohol or drugs, they are also less likely to:

* Have serious trouble in school

* Get hurt in a car accident

* Be a victim of crime

* Have a problem with addiction as an adult

If you say nothing, your child may think it’s okay to use alcohol and other drugs.

Take Action!

Start to talk with your child about tobacco, alcohol, and drugs today.

Talk with your child early and often.

Start having conversations about your values and expectations while your child is young. Your child will get used to sharing information and opinions with you. This will make it easier for you to continue talking as your child gets older.

Here are some tips:

* Use everyday events to start a conversation. For example, if you see a group of kids smoking, talk about how tobacco hurts the body.

* Give your child your full attention. Turn off the TV, radio, cell phone, and computer, and really listen.

* Try not to “talk at” your child. Encourage your child to ask questions. If you don’t know the answer to a question, look it up together.

Get more tips on talking with your child (http://family.samhsa.gov/talk/empcomm.aspx).

Teach your child the facts.

Your child needs to know how using tobacco, alcohol, and drugs can hurt the body and cause problems at home and in school. Kids who know the facts are more likely to make good choices.

Set clear rules for your child.

Not wanting to upset their parents is the number one reason kids give for not using drugs. Your child will be less tempted to use tobacco, alcohol, and drugs if you explain your rules clearly.

Give your child tools to say “NO”.

Kids say that they use alcohol and other drugs to “fit in and belong” with other kids. Talk to your child about how to say “no”. Your child can make a plan for when other kids offer tobacco, drugs, or alcohol.

Set a good example.

* If you smoke, try to quit.

* If you drink, don’t drink too much or too often.

* If you use drugs, find a treatment program near you

* Never drink or use drugs and drive.

Sex and Alcohol

For better or worse, there is an intimate relationship between sex and alcohol in our culture. Many people use alcohol to “loosen themselves up” in anticipation of having sex with a new partner, and it is a commonly held belief that alcohol is an aphrodisiac. But the actual sexual effects of alcohol are complicated, and there are many serious negative sexual consequences of drinking too much and drinking too often.

Always remember that drug effects are rarely simple, and there is no true “wonder drug” that will give you every benefit without any drawback (or vice versa). Also, because sex is more than just a physiological process, drugs may impact your psychological and social experiences of sex in ways that are unpredictable.

Does alcohol make sex better?

Alcohol has a “disinhibiting” effect, which can make people “loosen up” and feel more comfortable initiating or engaging in sex.

Alcohol may make you feel more socially confident, and in small quantities may facilitate more socializing and sexual communication.

In small amounts, alcohol has been reported to have a positive impact on sexual desire and arousal.

The Bottom Line: There are many social messages reinforcing the idea that sex goes with alcohol, and in small amounts (and when not consumed chronically) alcohol is reported to have a positive effect on sexual desire and arousal.

Does alcohol make sex worse?

Even after a few drinks sexual response is reduced.

In large amounts alcohol makes sex difficult to impossible. In moderate amounts alcohol can have an impact on engaging in risky sexual behavior, although this impact is not fully understood.

As drinking increases, both men and women will experience a reduction in sexual arousal -- men may have difficulty getting erections, and both men and women may have difficulty experiencing orgasm.

There are many severe consequences to chronic alcohol consumption, including erectile disorders and dysfunction in men, loss of sexual desire, significant decrease in sexual arousal, and difficulty experiencing orgasm for men and women.

The Bottom Line: When looking at long-term impacts, it is clear that the negative sex effects of alcohol far outweigh the positive. Also, like other drugs, alcohol has what is called “dose effect” which means that if you have even a little bit too much for you, the positive sex effects go away and negative ones appear (most notoriously is alcohol's impact on getting an erection).

Men, Alcohol, and Sex

Research has shown that the sexual effects of alcohol are different for men and women. This is likely the result of both physical and social differences in the way women’s bodies and men’s bodies react to alcohol and respond sexually.

Not surprisingly, the amount of alcohol consumed, and how often a man drinks, has an impact on whether there will be negative sexual effects of alcohol for men. Most of the research in this area has been with men who are, or were, alcoholics. Sexual effects in these studies include:

* Difficulty getting and maintaining erections

* Difficulty ejaculating/delayed ejaculation

* Reduced sexual desire

* Increased sexual aggression

* Infertility

As with women and alcohol, men may find that small amounts of alcohol increase sex desire and sociability. But positive quickly turns to negative as the amount of alcohol consumed increases. One of the differences researchers often point out is that most men consider an erection necessary for sex, and consuming high amounts of alcohol usually has a negative effect on erectile function.

How common are sexual effects of alcohol for men?

Because most of the research relies on men recalling past sexual experience and performance, and because research studies differ wildly in their methodology, narrowing down prevalence isn’t easy.

Estimates for men having difficulty with ejaculation range from 5-25% in some studies. Some researchers estimate that as many as 54% of alcoholic men have difficulties getting and maintaining erections, and decreased sexual desire has been found in between 31-58% of men across several studies.

The impact on men who are not alcoholics, and men who are drinking low to moderate amounts of alcohol is likely much less than this. And while drinking enough alcohol to become intoxicated may very well result in not being able to get an erection, if the man isn’t a chronic drinker, the erection difficulties should not persist.

Alcohol’s impact on testosterone in men

Researchers debate the impact of alcohol on testosterone in men. Whether they are definitive or not, there are several studies that show a decrease in testosterone both in alcoholic men and in non alcoholic men who drink enough to become intoxicated. Alcoholism can result in hypogonadism . However, with men who drink occasionally, testosterone levels return to normal, and moderate amounts of alcohol are not associated with reduced testosterone.