How To Help A Woman...Without Ruining Your Day

Two monks approach a stream swollen from a recent heavy rain. They encounter a beautiful young woman unable to cross. Although they have taken a vow of silence and abstinence regarding women, the older monk offers to carry the young woman across the stream on his back.

A few miles down the road the younger monk angrily asks, "Why did you break your vow and carry that woman across the stream?" I'll share the older monks interesting reply momentarily...

Do you ever feel angry, frustrated, or worried? Do you occasionally boil at the antics of bad drivers? Do you sometimes seethe over the ineptness of coworkers? Do you intermittently grind your teeth over your spouse's annoying habits? Do you frequently worry how you're going to make ends meet?

Of course you do. You're human. If you're like most, you feel that way more often than you'd like.

I have a solution for these feelings that works 100% of the time you use it. This solution is completely free and you already possess it in abundance. In fact, you were born with this solution - you've just forgotten to apply it as you've become an adult.

The solution is one of my newest Fun Commandments - Accept the Things You Cannot Change. And you already possess the abundant humor nature necessary to accept anything life throws at you. Humor, as you will find, is as necessary for acceptance as water is for coffee because it keeps you flexible and buoyant.

But before I get into how to use humor to accept the things you cannot change, let's briefly discuss acceptance. Acceptance is often maligned and misunderstood because people think it means endorsement or approval. Nothing could be further from the truth; acceptance simply means that you're not going to carry a burden of resentment, fear, worry, or anger. You are moving on with your life.

There are only three things in life, after all, that you can control:

1. Your ideas


2. Your attitudes


3. Your actions

For every single thing falling outside those three areas, you have only two choices: 1. Try to control/influence it or 2. Accept it and move on.

Think back to the last time you were angry or frustrated. It involved something outside of your ideas, attitudes, and actions, didn't it? Trying to control something outside these three areas is the source of all your worry, fear, anger, and frustration.

Simple...but not easy to remember, right? So, let's create an action plan for practicing my newest Fun Commandment, Accept the Things You Cannot Change.

As you encounter something that you cannot control today, make a choice. You will either try to influence it or accept the way it is and move on. If you are successful at influencing it, great! If you are unsuccessful at influencing it, accept it and move on. Then simply repeat this process throughout the day as often as you can remember! (More on how to help yourself remember later...)

For example, you're in the grocery store and you reach the entrance of an isle simultaneously with another shopper. Rather than barge ahead, you smile and offer this shopper the right of way. Your fellow shopper, however, doesn't acknowledge your kindness and barges ahead with a scowl.

You have two choices: 1. Accept the mood of your fellow shopper, let it go, and move on with your day or 2. Approach your fellow shopper with more kindness in an attempt to influence his mood. If you choose choice number two and are unsuccessful, remember to accept that and move on. The key is to really let it go because if you don't you will burden yourself by letting that shopper take up space in your head - rent free!

And you can't afford to have your humor nature weighed down by rent-free squatters who sap your spiritual and physical energy and resilience. You want your humor nature to fly free and unfettered today. You have too much success awaiting you today to be detoured by such burdens!

Let's finish the story about the two monks. The older monk's wise reply is, "I only carried her across the stream; you're still carrying her." Get the message? Let it go! Accept it and move on.

Next week I'll give you some amazing tips to help you remember to accept the things you cannot change. You'll use your humor nature and have lots of fun. But, in the meantime, practice your action plan and share your results with me!



Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor
"it all starts with a SMILE"

The Natural Medicine of Humor
"Discover a unique, FREE, and incredibly powerful prescription created out of desperation by a (formerly) stressed-out Kentucky psychiatrist"

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