Here's something else you have no control over: you are issued a hundred billion (or so) brain cells at birth and, unlike the other cells in your body, they are never renewed. That is all you get. And you lose, on average, 500 of them an hour. So if you've got anything to think about, I suggest you get to it right away. I'll give you the rest of the story shortly...
Last week I promised to tell you how to use humor to help you accept the things you can't change. People are surprised by how much humor you find in accepting the things you cannot change. Dealing with things you can't change is usually associated with extreme frustration and, why not?
You don't naturally smile when that BMW cuts you off on I-65 and you're already five minutes late to your appointment. Your first reaction when your daughter sneaks out her bedroom window to attend a forbidden party isn't to smile really wide. What's worse than dealing with other people's unwanted or disappointing actions or attitudes, after all?
But it's in dealing with those attitudes that your hidden humor ally is found. It's subtle, but once you catch on to it, you'll find yourself that much closer to my recommended 30 minutes a day of fun.
What frustrates you about the BMW driver's attitude or your daughter's actions? Not being in control of them, right? You want to be in control, and you're not! Isn't that why we say the things we've let go of have "claw marks all over them"?
But have you ever thought of what you're actually letting go of? Lean in really close because I'm going to whisper an amazing secret to you.
You think you're letting go of your control over that rude BMW driver's attitude or your teenage daughter's actions...but you're not! You're only letting go of the illusion that you have control because you never actually had control over those things anyway - you just thought you did!
Okay, stand back from your monitor. I'm about to start speaking in a normal volume again.
Let's make this very clear. You're not letting go of control over the things you can't change, you're only letting go of the illusion that you have control. You can build an entire sitcom about such misunderstandings, folks.
The more you practice letting go of the things over which you have no control, the more gentle humor you will find in your illusions of control.
Watching a child reach up to grab the object appearing "right before her eyes" during a 3-D movie will make you laugh gently because it's sweet and cute. Why is your trying to grab control of your illusion any less humorous (and any less sweet and cute)? Answer: it's not.
If you give yourself permission to laugh with yourself (another of my Fun Commandments), you will soon find loads of fun and humor in your illusions of control. And, trust me, that humor makes it easier to let go of the things you cannot change.
The more you give yourself permission to find humor in your illusions of control, the more you are practicing accepting the things you cannot change. Because finding humor in accepting the things you cannot change helps you accept them much more readily. And accepting the things you can't control, in return, helps you find the humor in them. It's a wonderful, reciprocal relationship!
Don't be alarmed, by the way, about your brain. Although your brain cells are designed to last as long as you do, their individual components are constantly renewed. So no part of your brain cells are ever likely to be more than a month old. Knowing that your brain is like a freshly brewed pot of coffee should help you accept the fact that your brain cells don't ever replace themselves.
Until next week, let me know what humor you're able to find as you accept the things you can't change!
Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor
"it all starts with a SMILE"
The Natural Medicine of Humor
"Discover a unique, FREE, and incredibly powerful prescription created out of desperation by a (formerly) stressed-out Kentucky psychiatrist"
The Blog Directory
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment