Friday, June 3, 2005

How To Make Mistakes

Have you ever told someone they “eat like a bird”? You meant that they picked at their food and didn’t eat very much. (I’ve been called a “bird brain”, but that’s another matter entirely) Are you aware, however, what a big mistake it is to make this comparison? I’ll explain why in a moment…

Last week we discussed the importance of welcoming your mistakes. Sweeping your mistakes under the rug fools no one but you. You reinforce the horribly incorrect paradigm that you are wrong to make mistakes - that you shouldn’t make them. You already know that you are perfectly imperfect; you were born to make mistakes. So why beat yourself up over something you are meant to do?

Better to learn to use your innate inclination to make mistakes. Take those lemons and make lemonade.

Do you ever wish you’d stop making mistakes? Why? Not making mistakes would make you a robot. Your ability to make mistakes makes you human; it gives you free will because you have the power to do things “wrong.”

I don’t know about you, but I love my free will and my humanity. Not that you actually have this choice, but you’d have to trade your free will to attain mistake-free living. I wouldn’t exchange my life of unlimited possibility and opportunity for cookie-cutter perfection.

So how do you stop beating yourself up for your mistakes and start welcoming them? How do you develop a lasting paradigm which equates making mistakes with living a full and adventurous life? How do you free yourself from the bondage of fearing your mistakes and emulate the great achievers of humankind, who welcome their mistakes with gusto?

Great questions! Here are three simple, yet powerful, actions steps to get you started:

  1. Learn to regard your mistakes as tangible assets. What wonderful opportunities to grow and change await you with your first mistake today! Wait for that first mistake with baited breath and welcome it with enthusiasm because it holds a golden kernel of victory – a message for a better life!


  2. Don’t try to hide your mistakes. You are going to notice some changes accompanying your new attitude toward your mistakes. As you waste less energy trying to hide them as they occur, you have more energy for learning from your experiences!


  3. Be like Babe Ruth and swing for the fences. Babe Ruth struck out twice as often as he hit home runs, but so what? People remember his homers. Use your increased energy level to try new spontaneous and creative things. You will make more mistakes as you take more risks, but so what? People will remember your success (and admire your courage).


One more thing: an important side benefit of welcoming your mistakes is that they are entertaining, which adds to your thirty minutes of fun today. Remember Carol Burnett’s definition of comedy is “tragedy plus time.” While there is nothing funny about pain and disappointment, you can always find humor in your unrealistic expectations of mistake-free perfectionism.

You can shake your head and gently laugh with yourself, instead of beating yourself up, when you make your mistakes today!

The more you are able to laugh with yourself about your mistakes, the more you will treat them lightly enough to quickly learn from them. And, of course, the more you are able to quickly learn from your mistakes, the more you’ll be able to take them lightly enough to be entertained by them. Before long, you’ll be confident enough to join me in making mistakes on purpose – just for the entertainment value!

And about those birds… Birds eat a tremendous amount each day, much more than you and me. Adult birds eat one quarter to one half their body weight each day. And, because their metabolism is even higher, baby birds usually eat their body weight worth of food each day! Who knew?

But, of course, if you’ve made the mistake of telling a picky eater that she eats like a bird, who cares? Your mistake was humorous and educational at the same time! Now you know the real story behind “eating like a bird.”

Soon you’ll be treating all your mistakes this lightly and, when that happens, you won’t be eating like a bird -you’ll be soaring like one!



Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor
"it all starts with a SMILE"

The Natural Medicine of Humor
"Discover a unique, FREE, and incredibly powerful prescription created out of desperation by a (formerly) stressed-out Kentucky psychiatrist"

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